We all suck. It's true. Quit denying it, I'm not. I know I'm doucheier (if that's a word) than all of you combined. But hey, at least I know it, and admit it. Your turn.
So now what? Nothing? Good. As I was saying... Life. Yes. It's boring and depressing. Why? 'Cause Denis Leary is right, happiness comes in short bursts. I would know this first hand.
Here's a list of happiness for men:
Sex
Orgasm
Breaking shit
Taking a shit
Laughing at people
Taking a piss
Getting high
That's about it for men.
Here's for women, these are just assumptions, I am led to believe from my own ego and experience that this is pretty close to the truth, behold, what women get off to:
Paint their nails
shave their legs
do something to their hair
do something to their face
cover their freckles
make their eyes impossible to see
drown themselves in makeup
drown themselves in cheap, shitty perfume
drown themselves _____________
Annoy guys
mislead guys
mislead girls
mislead themselves
they've already misled __ amt. of people
breaking hearts
putting them back together
breaking them again
making fun of nice guys
making fun of douches
making fun of people just like themselves
making fun of people who make fun of people in a 'please punch me, I'm a douche' kinda way
laughing
passing out from laughing
blogging about bullshit
vlogging
" "
I WILL POP A BLOOD VESSEL IN MY ASSHOLE IF I GO ON ANY LONGER.
See what I mean? I'm not saying men are better, god help us, we're not. I'm saying you're boring and we're simple, both bad things, plus we're both pretty gullable, damn, forgot that. Anyway, I'd like to make a few suggestions as what to do about this.
Here are some of my thoughts...
1. Kill yourself. It's the only way to keep your bullshit to yourself, after all, we all know that everything eventually gets out there. So do us all a favour and down a gallon of laundry detergent, or cyanide, whichever's more availible at the moment...
2. Shut the fuck up. No matter who you are, you're probably boring and uninteresting and we don't listen to you. We don't. It's a great fact of life, so keep talking, I forgot where ytou started with this anyway.
3. Fill in the blank. It probably annoys humanity and you should cut it the fuck out before I cut out my jugular.
4. Boring. Can't go on any further, getting bored. Tired, stressed.
Call me bitter? Well, not much of an insult, I am. My fault? Hmm... Is being white my fault? Of course not, it's an accident of nature. I do like being white though... But my point is I can't really help myself to be bitter, if I wasn't you wouldn't be reading this, not that you're reading this anyway, letters just look cool.
How should I end this? Not sure. How about go fuck your dog. That'll do.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Looks like you're not the only one who wishes I'd die from sickness...
That's right. I do too. And not only 'cause I know I bore you guys with this shit. I also know that my IQ is higher than yours. How? The sole-fact taht you're reading this. Does it matter? Hell no. Can you change it? Still no. Hmm... I guess I win.
Well, being sick sucks, unless it's Mono. If it is Mono, not only can you brag about it, but it's usually worth it. I probably don't have it though which just makes being sick pretty boring. But If I do have something cool like Mono or Jungle Fever or something along those lines it instantly makes my life something worth living more than yours, wait, what am I saying? I'm not sick, my immune system is at least 10 times stronger and more sophistocated than yours. Which means this is just my mind putting my body through hell to keep it's defence system in shape. Yes, I am a badass.
If you're not jealous yet, I appologize, usually I'd get you by now, but oh well I guess? No. I don't go down for the night with out people envying me. It makes me feel better. In which case I will say that I rule. I don't have to explain why 'cause I do. Those are the rules. I wrote them too.
On the other hand... Feel free to quit reading now.
Oh, and by the way, your cousin says, "Hi".
Well, being sick sucks, unless it's Mono. If it is Mono, not only can you brag about it, but it's usually worth it. I probably don't have it though which just makes being sick pretty boring. But If I do have something cool like Mono or Jungle Fever or something along those lines it instantly makes my life something worth living more than yours, wait, what am I saying? I'm not sick, my immune system is at least 10 times stronger and more sophistocated than yours. Which means this is just my mind putting my body through hell to keep it's defence system in shape. Yes, I am a badass.
If you're not jealous yet, I appologize, usually I'd get you by now, but oh well I guess? No. I don't go down for the night with out people envying me. It makes me feel better. In which case I will say that I rule. I don't have to explain why 'cause I do. Those are the rules. I wrote them too.
On the other hand... Feel free to quit reading now.
Oh, and by the way, your cousin says, "Hi".
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Ten reasons why everything I like is great.
Below is a list of ten reasons why everything I like is great. If you disagree you are either wrong or I left something out, but that doesn't make me wrong, it just means I forgot something, which reminds me, I still have your sisters bra here, she forgot it, come get it.
1. First of all, I have reasons to like what I like. I don't just like random shit because I can, that would be irresponsible, well in a broader manner it would be. This should be the only thing written 'cause technically I just beat you all with that one reason. Eat shit.
2. 'Cause I'm a Pirate...
3. 'Cause I don't get angry over dumb shit like this.
4. I can make my cock do tricks...
5. I take the time to appreciate what people do for me. Still, no one has done anything for me.
6. I'm a hoe.
7. I have opposable thumbs. I know you are all jealous.
8. I'm not going to say I have a good taste in music, 'cause that would be bland, but I will say I think the music I like makes more sence in a perspective of view than the music you like.
9. If you are reading this you either hate me or we have something in common, in which case, we must agree on some issue to a certain degree...
10. Because you're common and I'm not. 'Nuff said.
11. Because it's a cool number.
I'm gonna go blow the speakers on my new amp now... Send me donations to help buy me a new one! Anyone? Screw you guys.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
People Suck.
Without trying to express my unhappiness I must say people sicken me. I'm tired of the casual bullshit being spued forth from the average asshole. It's boring and common. I'm tired of being put through it. I like helping people though. I will never be a doctor or pshycologist, but I will talk to you and help you sort your shit out. It's what a good friend does. With that being said, I introduce to you th fact I am emotionless. I wasn't born this way, I just trained my emtotions to stay at bay when horseshit is flying around. So now that I can do what you can not, I am immediately better in a matter of speaking. Better in the way that I can do shit with no strings attactched, I am god. Well I'm not god, but if you know me personally you know what I mean.
One thing I would like to get off of my hairy chest... quit bitching and listen up, grades mean nothing. I don't mean that people with bad grades are smart, that's not the point, or my point, at all, but what I'm saying is that if you're grades are shitty you have accomplished 1 of 2 things, you've either proven not only to yourself but to all that your are either a dumbass, or that school bores you. now school can bore you for 1 of 2 reasons, 1 being that you have figured out that you are smarter than most of the people there and realize that they will get nowhere in life with them, except for the few exceptionable people who will become doctors, lawyers, or indian cheifs. Or 2, you get bored in class and begin to start staring at the wale-tails in front of you and not pay attention to what the teachers are saying. So what I'm saying is that there are various degrees of the developing brain in which one can be smart or not. Most people are dumbasses, but they don't know it, and don't spoil it for them and tell them, even though they probably won't believe you anyway.
By saying this it is accurate to say that by reading this you have gained knowledge instead of lost valuable time. Believe me I'm right. As for the latter case of you accepting you are a dumbass, that probably won't ever happen, or at least not in you lifetime, you'll be lucky If your great grandson figures it out before the brain cells in your head get depleted gradually by the cellular waves in the air traveling at light speed from point a to b. Let's hope you die first though...
One band that can describe life rather well... Red Sparrowes. Mainly 'cause they're an instrumental band, or as far as I've listened to them they are. Music with out lyrics is raw emotion with no actions attatched. It's like a book, with no movie: open to interpritation. I guess that explains life, no actions equal pure feeling and thought. Provoke yourself and listen to them, you might hit puberty when you do. Or your balls will drop and start producing man juice, or if you're a woman, your ovaries might stop producing eggs so if you hate kids and/or don't like being pregnant, now's the time for sex. If you miss this chance, you're fucked. If not, less kids, more fun. Do it for your sister, which I'm sure I went down on...
Peace assholes.
One thing I would like to get off of my hairy chest... quit bitching and listen up, grades mean nothing. I don't mean that people with bad grades are smart, that's not the point, or my point, at all, but what I'm saying is that if you're grades are shitty you have accomplished 1 of 2 things, you've either proven not only to yourself but to all that your are either a dumbass, or that school bores you. now school can bore you for 1 of 2 reasons, 1 being that you have figured out that you are smarter than most of the people there and realize that they will get nowhere in life with them, except for the few exceptionable people who will become doctors, lawyers, or indian cheifs. Or 2, you get bored in class and begin to start staring at the wale-tails in front of you and not pay attention to what the teachers are saying. So what I'm saying is that there are various degrees of the developing brain in which one can be smart or not. Most people are dumbasses, but they don't know it, and don't spoil it for them and tell them, even though they probably won't believe you anyway.
By saying this it is accurate to say that by reading this you have gained knowledge instead of lost valuable time. Believe me I'm right. As for the latter case of you accepting you are a dumbass, that probably won't ever happen, or at least not in you lifetime, you'll be lucky If your great grandson figures it out before the brain cells in your head get depleted gradually by the cellular waves in the air traveling at light speed from point a to b. Let's hope you die first though...
One band that can describe life rather well... Red Sparrowes. Mainly 'cause they're an instrumental band, or as far as I've listened to them they are. Music with out lyrics is raw emotion with no actions attatched. It's like a book, with no movie: open to interpritation. I guess that explains life, no actions equal pure feeling and thought. Provoke yourself and listen to them, you might hit puberty when you do. Or your balls will drop and start producing man juice, or if you're a woman, your ovaries might stop producing eggs so if you hate kids and/or don't like being pregnant, now's the time for sex. If you miss this chance, you're fucked. If not, less kids, more fun. Do it for your sister, which I'm sure I went down on...
Peace assholes.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Bored? I am.
As far as self loathing goes... I already beat you. Now that I have this off of my chest, time to criticize...
Within the confines of the evil we call the human are the things that drive them, that make them feel, stupid. Emotions. First off, emotions suck, if you feel happy, who cares? 1. You. 2. Only you should. Attachment is worse than this 'cause then you can feel content for others. Which just leads to more time wasted going to parties with useless people, more money spent on useless things for useless people, and a lot of dumb shit that isn't so pleasant to hold on to. Want a girlfriend? By all means, do it and go ahead, just don't make me your goddamn best man. I'm happy doing nothing while people want me to waste my time with them? If I'm happy it will only make me unhappy to leave that specific area of happiness. I'M HAPPY AS I AM. LEAVE ME ALONE.
Emotions shouldn't exist. Why? 1. It would make it easier to get past death row and more dumb people would die and therefore less daily hassle. 2. Breakups wouldn't be that big of a deal and no couples would get in fights. Ultimatum right there. 3. No more pills. Except aspirin, aspirin is the shit for everything. 4. Can't think of more reasons at the moment.
I officially declare 7/27 stay at home and bitch about everything day. No one will do it 'cause it's not a holiday and people have to work. That's why I'll do. 'Cause I can. I can because no one wants to employ my sorry ass, I don't have many friends with free time and I hate going outside.
I'm getting bored with typing, later assholes...
Within the confines of the evil we call the human are the things that drive them, that make them feel, stupid. Emotions. First off, emotions suck, if you feel happy, who cares? 1. You. 2. Only you should. Attachment is worse than this 'cause then you can feel content for others. Which just leads to more time wasted going to parties with useless people, more money spent on useless things for useless people, and a lot of dumb shit that isn't so pleasant to hold on to. Want a girlfriend? By all means, do it and go ahead, just don't make me your goddamn best man. I'm happy doing nothing while people want me to waste my time with them? If I'm happy it will only make me unhappy to leave that specific area of happiness. I'M HAPPY AS I AM. LEAVE ME ALONE.
Emotions shouldn't exist. Why? 1. It would make it easier to get past death row and more dumb people would die and therefore less daily hassle. 2. Breakups wouldn't be that big of a deal and no couples would get in fights. Ultimatum right there. 3. No more pills. Except aspirin, aspirin is the shit for everything. 4. Can't think of more reasons at the moment.
I officially declare 7/27 stay at home and bitch about everything day. No one will do it 'cause it's not a holiday and people have to work. That's why I'll do. 'Cause I can. I can because no one wants to employ my sorry ass, I don't have many friends with free time and I hate going outside.
I'm getting bored with typing, later assholes...
Thursday, July 22, 2010
To Start Everything Off...
Hello all who don't know me (hopefully everyone doesn't). As far as a life is concerned I have a normal one. Most people today don't know what normal is. Allow me to educate... A normal life is the average way a life goes according to most people, therefore it's bleak and boring. Life is only as boring as you make it so quit bitching about it.
Initially... well, nobody cares. So I'm not going to start this off happy or nice, I'm going to say this first and foremost: To anybody who is reading this, you most likely live in Florida, so I say to you... stay. Because the way you assholes ruin this state gives me a good reason to hate it. Last I heard there where something like 700 Publix's throughout the world and a good portion of them where in South Florida. This leads me to say you are all fat, comsuming, lethargic lards that do close to nothing with your lives, ex: you work for Publix, you don't work (no job), or no one wants to hire your ass 'cause you're not qualified... in which case I understand.
But if you are skinny it's due to possibly one of 2 things, if not both:
1. You have a high metabolism, which would be a mutation probably caused by your mother standing next to the microwave too often while pregnant, fat, and hungry. All probably 'caused by low attention span.
2. You like to keep in shape, in which I say, "Congrats!". Most people aren't in shape so this is a big deal. Especially since you accually abide by your thoughts of wanting to be in shape.
Anybody who is natrually fat can be in shape, it just takes a different amount of effort for each person depending on weight, height, family history (depending on generations of obesity or not), and that's about it. I'm not here to give you guys a lesson on how to stay in shape, I'm here to bitch and you're here to read. So to change the subject quickly...
New Paragraph! In this paragraph you will read about why I think Meshuggah is the most creative and innovative band in music today and why music in general is falling into nothing. First off they created a completely new genre of music and style of playing, Kudos man... I'd say that they're the best band in this extreme scene of music, but I won't 'cause that's opinion 100%. But it's a fact that they've created something new becuase if you have ears, a brain, patience, and the time to analyze this you will realize that it's true. They wern't the only ones to start the new style of playing but they definately put the most emphisis on it. They should get credit for that alone. 'Nuff said.
As for me... well, nothing. I guess that's it for now, I'll check back later.
Initially... well, nobody cares. So I'm not going to start this off happy or nice, I'm going to say this first and foremost: To anybody who is reading this, you most likely live in Florida, so I say to you... stay. Because the way you assholes ruin this state gives me a good reason to hate it. Last I heard there where something like 700 Publix's throughout the world and a good portion of them where in South Florida. This leads me to say you are all fat, comsuming, lethargic lards that do close to nothing with your lives, ex: you work for Publix, you don't work (no job), or no one wants to hire your ass 'cause you're not qualified... in which case I understand.
But if you are skinny it's due to possibly one of 2 things, if not both:
1. You have a high metabolism, which would be a mutation probably caused by your mother standing next to the microwave too often while pregnant, fat, and hungry. All probably 'caused by low attention span.
2. You like to keep in shape, in which I say, "Congrats!". Most people aren't in shape so this is a big deal. Especially since you accually abide by your thoughts of wanting to be in shape.
Anybody who is natrually fat can be in shape, it just takes a different amount of effort for each person depending on weight, height, family history (depending on generations of obesity or not), and that's about it. I'm not here to give you guys a lesson on how to stay in shape, I'm here to bitch and you're here to read. So to change the subject quickly...
New Paragraph! In this paragraph you will read about why I think Meshuggah is the most creative and innovative band in music today and why music in general is falling into nothing. First off they created a completely new genre of music and style of playing, Kudos man... I'd say that they're the best band in this extreme scene of music, but I won't 'cause that's opinion 100%. But it's a fact that they've created something new becuase if you have ears, a brain, patience, and the time to analyze this you will realize that it's true. They wern't the only ones to start the new style of playing but they definately put the most emphisis on it. They should get credit for that alone. 'Nuff said.
As for me... well, nothing. I guess that's it for now, I'll check back later.
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